I continued listening.

So now we're going to talk about universal life force. Basically, universal life force is what animates the intersection of physical and spiritual into a multi-dimensional experience. Universal life force can appear in people in different ways. First we look at the strength and duration so... my God, your records are just having the funnest time right now. They're all laughing because the first category is strength and duration, which is like the imprecise measure of... you know, like, if we were to measure it or something, the measuring instrument would just break apart because it's so strong within you and the duration... you know, kind of like the difference between frequency and amplitutude... the duration is very, very... not quick, but it too is strong.

So its ability to maintain itself is very, very strong. Which means that you have the capacity to do... well, you will make a difference. They were going to say you have the capacity to do just about anything you want to do. But that's also being tempered by an awareness that everything you want to do is not necessarily everything to do. Like, just because you can bake fifty cupcakes every day, doesn't mean that that's what you're going to do. So it's about really recognizing the difference between the capacity to do something, and the desire to do that in any given moment.

Is that why I feel like too much? I wondered. Like a powerful ocean, trapped inside a tiny, restrictive box?

I pressed play again.

You're being very successful in going beyond your limiting beliefs about who you can be on Earth and what you can do on Earth. And not listening to... oh, the gurus have been saying for the past 2,000 years "you can't do this" and "you can't do that." You just don't feel the compulsion to have to... it's not that you're not paying attention. It's just that you're not feeling bound by other people's limiting beliefs.

So what's moving together with who you are physically and who you are spiritually with universal life force... it's giving you the ability to really step outside of perceived cultural limitations and experiment and try this out or try that out and see if you can do this or that. In fact, if somebody says "no, you can't" that actually becomes a challenge to figure out how you can. Because, pretty much, there is nothing that someone could say no to you, that you couldn't figure out how to do, in some respect or another.

More and more of your life as you go forward is going to be split between what your physical presence is aware of and what your spiritual side takes on as a way to integrate into the physical world. In an old way of saying it you'd be a business person by day, and by night you'd be a meditating monk. Within the next 5-10 years (which they know sounds like a long time maybe, but it's going to be short)... in the next 5-10 years you're going to have really integrated those two parts of yourself, so it's not going to be quite the same issue. Because if you think about who you are right now and how you deal with the world right now, versus how you did that when you were twenty, they'll get what they mean in terms of the shift that's going to happen. Because there are all kinds of things about you now that when you were twenty, you couldn't have predicted. So it's the same thing. You know, in some respects that's true for just about anybody, but for you that's really indicitive of this expanding process to understand this.

Because by doing all of this and doing it the way you're doing it, you're basically showing as an example to others that they can do this as well, right? That what they've always thought of as the only ways are not the only ways — they're the limited ways. They're the ways that used to work. But they're other ways now. And so by exploring all of that, you then become a demonstration to others about what they really have capacity to do if they'll let go of their preconceived notions about the way the world has to work.

So however crazy and independent you may have been up until this point, it's going to continue. And I don't want to say it's going to get worse, but it's going to become more intense. Because as you move forward you're not going to suffer fools, and you're just going to say "okay, this is something I want to get done" and you'll do it. Whereas a lot of other people hmmm and ahhh and say "maybe I'll do it five years from now when I have the money and bubblegum's purple, but until then I'm going to whine and bitch a little bit." You don't have time for that.

Because you're not here to make other people happy. You're here to experience for yourself the depths of what you can do, and enjoy the company of others. So it's not so much that you need help. It's that you need someone to go to the movies with. You need someone to go hiking with. You need that companionship. That's what you need. Not somebody who's going to hold your hand and say "oooh Nikki this is the way you do it." You don't need that.

So your current environment supports all of this development. Though, you're also that kind of itinerant explorer. There's a part of you that's always on the road, always moving, always going places. Part of what that means is that you're always allowing yourself to live and grow and expand within the environment that you're in. You don't limit yourself. Like, some people only learn at home, or in school. For you, you learn in life, wherever your life is. So the reason you want to travel is to have a new learning experience. And that's something you find immensely satisfying and you allow yourself to experience in a way that propells you forward. It gives you motion forward without a lot of effort.

It's like the difference between paddling upstream and paddling downstream. When you're going downstream, sometimes you take the paddles out of the water and just sit back and the boat floats down the river. And that's a whole lot of what's going on in your life. It's just like, "Okay. This is the experience I want to have. These are the kinds of things I need to do to prepare for that to make it happen. Okay, cool. Now I'm just going to sit back and let this float because I'm trusting it. I know it's going to take me downstream where I wanna go."

And you're also very clear that you don't travel upstream unless you get out of the water and walk up. In other words, you don't expend energy in a useless way... or at least high levels of energy. So, if you know that it's easier for you to walk upstream then that's what you'll do, because you just intuitively understand that that's the best way for you to do it. Can you explain it to other people? Sometimes you can, sometimes you can't. But explaining it to other people is not a priority. All they've got to know is that you did it. Now, your companions, you may share some of that with them after they've earned a place.

Okay, life resistance comes... well, they want to riff on what they were saying. For you, life resistance comes when you try to paddle upstream when you know that you shouldn't. Which is to say that you have a very strong awareness of what's true for you, what's right for you. And you should be encouraged to follow that. And sometimes you do actually paddle upstream, but it's because you know that's the thing for you to do. Resistance comes when you don't do what you know you should be doing. They're just like, "Nikki, just get over that one. Y'know? C'mon." Because they know they don't have to point it out to you. They know you know. But a whole lot of that comes out of this vague idea that you should make other people happy. But they're glad to report you are letting go of that. Because life is about making you happy, and following your truth, and what you, in the moment, know to be your truth. Which means sometimes people are not going to be happy with you. And it's not that you would intentionally hurt anyone... that's not what they're talking about. What they're talking about is how you give up yourself for somebody else to be happy. And that's what they're saying, "Stop. Don't do that." Which you're way, way better than you used to be. And part of that is just growing up and maturing and stuff.

It's also that there's been a certain amount of dissonance for you. Like, there's been your chronological age, and there's the age of your wisdom. And when you're chronologically ten years old but the age of your wisdom is thirty, the dissonance there is hard for people to deal with. It's hard for you to deal with, it's hard for people around you to deal with because people around you are wanting to say "No, no, no. You're only ten. Shut up. You don't know anything." And you're like, "Well, but wait a minute. I kinda think I know this part." And they say "No you don't. Shut up. Go away. You're ten." It's not that you're ever going to stop growing, but the difference between your chronological age and your wisdom age is getting narrower and narrower all the time. So it makes it easier for you to say things and for people to understand them, or for people to stop to understand them because that dissonance isn't so strong anymore. But there's always going to be a certain amount of dissonance there because of the strength of who you are, both physically and spiritually, and your willingness to express that body, mind, heart and soul. As you learn to feel like you can be more open, then the support mechanisms that end up around you are going to be able to support you in feeling comfortable in the realization for yourself and others between the chronological and the wisdom age. 'Cos that's going to be with you always.