"So, how do I play the game?" Zac asked.

"Well," I said, "it's like I just explained: you decide who you are, and express that version of yourself into the world through thought, word, and deed. This changes your beliefs at a subconscious level, and it's your subconscious that's controlling the game."

"Yeah, but I mean more specifically," he said. "Like, how do I get the woman of my dreams to show up in the game?"

"This is my favorite hack," I replied. "Firstly, you identify what you want to show up in the game."

"Okay... so I want my future wife to show up," Zac said.

"Good. Now, get specific about the qualities you want in a life partner. For example, I know you like very feminine women."

"Yeah," Zac agreed. "And I want her to be intelligent, worldly, kind, loving, and independent. Oh, and supportive. I want someone I can build a life with."

"Okay, great," I said. "Let's start there. You've just identified the specific symbol that you want to manifest in the game. But to actually manifest that symbol, you need to invert the underlying concept that the symbol represents. You do that by figuring out who you are in relationship to the symbol."

"I don't understand."

"Well, let's start with the word 'feminine.' Why do you want your wife to be feminine?"

"Because I like feminine women?" Zac guessed.

"No, that's not it. It's because you're an archetypically masculine guy."

Zac puffed out his chest.

"And," I continued, "the reason you want to be with a feminine woman is because you want to feel like a masculine man. You like providing and protecting and being a chivalrous gentleman. You're a walking contradiction — you're an asshole, but you're a lovable asshole. You're fiercely loyal to the people you love, and you treat your partner like a queen. I know you, and that's who you are."

"To be clear," Zac added, "it's not that I don't think women are capable of providing for themselves. I just like supporting them. I feel like a man when I can help."

I chuckled. "Don't worry, Zac. I'm not a hardcore feminist who believes mens' desire to provide for women is a bad thing. The need to provide and protect is just a reflection of your own evolutionary and societal programming. It's not because you think women are weak — it's because you want to feel strong. It's a very selfish need-"

"How is it selfish?" he scowled.

"I don't mean 'selfish' in a negative way. I'm just saying that your desire to provide and protect has nothing to do with women, and everything to do with you acting out your own self-concept. I noticed this pattern when I was observing my father one day. He had just gone into semi-retirement after a lifetime of intense work, so he suddenly found himself with plenty of free time. My father's entire identity is wrapped up in being a good father and a productive provider and protector of his family. One day I was visiting my parents, just working away in my room. Dad walked in. I asked, 'What are you doing?' He said, 'Oh, just looking… just looking...' He began picking up objects on my dressing table and examining them, then putting them down in an absent-minded way. Suddenly, he spotted a problem with the French doors that opened on to my balcony. His eyes lit up, and he left the room. A few minutes later, he returned with his tools and his ladder to fix the problem."

"And what's the point of this story?" Zac asked.

"My point is, my father's entire identity is wrapped up in being a hard worker and a provider. When he didn't have to work anymore, he found himself a broken door. The door was just a prop that allowed him to continue acting out his 'provider' identity.

Now, I could make his actions all about me if I wanted to. I could assume he was being selfless when he fixed my door. The truth is, he wasn't selfless. The door allowed him to play out a self-concept where he believes himself to be a good, selfless father. When he acts out that self-concept, it's for his own benefit, not mine."

"But you still benefit from it," Zac said.

"Of course I do. It's a mutually beneficial exchange. He plays the role of a good father. Meanwhile, I play the role of a grateful daughter who appreciates everything my father does for me. My role complements his, and his complements mine.

Therefore, being a provider is just a role you're choosing to play. You can play the game however you like. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm not ashamed of it," Zac said. "But in this day and age, the media loves to tell men that their mere existence is toxic and shameful. Apparently, I shouldn't open doors for women because they can do it themselves."

"Well, no shit," I laughed. "Of course I can open my own door! But I'll let you in on a little secret: life is more fun when I let men open them for me. This is a very important observation about people, in general. When a man opens a door for me, it's because he wants to experience himself as a chivalrous gentleman. It's got nothing to do with me! Men don't open doors for women. They open doors for women for themselves. If a man opens a door for me, he's just playing out a role. I can choose to assist him in experiencing that concept of himself by saying thank you.

It's the same with your biological desire to provide and protect. If that's the role you want to play, then you'll attract a woman who allows you to experience that concept of yourself. It's not necessarily that opposites attract; it's just that complementary polarities do. Archetypically masculine men typically attract archetypically feminine women, because 'masculine' men allow women to experience themselves as 'feminine,' and vice versa. Similarly, perpetrators attract victims, and victims attract perpetrators. I can't experience myself as a victim unless there is a perpetrator, and I can't experience myself as a perpetrator unless I have a victim. As horrible as it is, these two kinds of people need each other to have a physical experience of their own consciousness.

All of this is very relevant to finding a life partner. If you're craving a feminine woman, what you're actually craving is the feeling of being a masculine man. Her femininity is just the prop, or the symbol, that helps you to experience yourself as your definition of 'masculine.' You can follow this same inversion process with all the qualities you wrote down. What was the next one?"

"I want her to be intelligent," Zac said.

"Why?" I asked.

"So I feel intellectually stimulated. I like being challenged."

"That's your answer, then," I said. "An intelligent woman is like a prop, or a character in a play, that assists you in being intellectually stimulated. That's what you actually want. What's the next quality?"

"I want her to be worldly and well-traveled," Zac said.

"Why?" I asked again.

"Hmmm... I guess I feel like a well-traveled person is more open to new experiences, and has an expanded mind. They've exposed themselves to different cultures and situations. She also needs to be able to travel with me."

"Okay, so it sounds like freedom and adventure is the inversion of that quality. With this future wife of yours, you feel free to explore yourself and your relationship and the world and different ideas, without being stuck in one place or limited by perspective or location. What's the next quality?"

"Kind and loving," he replied.

"That's a very warm feeling," I said. "You want to feel the warmth of being loved, of being treated kindly, of someone accepting you for who you are, and being compassionate about your faults. Correct?"

"Yeah, I guess. And, before you ask, the next quality is independence. I guess I want an independent woman because I like having my own life. I want her to have her own life, too."

"Good," I said. "You want her to be independent, so you can feel independent. And for your last quality, support, it's pretty obvious that you want to feel supported. You want to feel like someone has your back and is rooting for you. Right?"

Zac nodded.

"Great. Now we've identified the symbol you want to manifest in the game and the properties of that symbol in relationship to yourself. Being with a feminine woman gives you a physical experience of being a masculine man. Being with an intelligent woman gives you a physical experience of being intellectually stimulated. Being with a worldly and independent woman gives you a physical experience of being adventurous and free. Being with a loving woman gives you a physical experience of being loved. Being with a supportive woman gives you a physical experience of being supported.

So if you want a woman like this to show up in your life, you need to embody that concept of yourself: being masculine, intellectually stimulated, independent, adventurous, loved, supported. You have to give yourself all the things you're craving first. Then the game will procedurally generate the props and symbols you need to experience yourself as all of those qualities. Your life partner will be one of them. She is a character in your play. And you're a prop, or a character, in her play. She wants to feel feminine, intellectually challenged, loved, and all those things, too. Therefore, her game will manifest a man that gives her that experience. That man will be you.

Oh, and you also have to stop re-affirming a belief that these women are rare. You're literally speaking that belief into reality when you tell me how difficult it is to find someone who matches your lifestyle. This game can generate any reality that abides by the rules of the game, because it is powered by infinite intelligence. It's not your job to figure out how, where, or when she is going to show up. It's your job to be whoever you want to be, and loosen up the limiting beliefs that tell you your perfect partner doesn't exist. She'll probably show up in a way you least expect. This is why many people manifest their ideal partners when they are focused on their own life and not actively looking for someone else. If you're feeling whole, magnificent, in love with yourself and supportive of your own dreams, then, from that place, the game will procedurally generate a partner that assists you in experiencing yourself as whole, magnificent, loved, and supported. Make sense?"

Zac nodded.

"Anyway, it's getting dark. We should head home."

"Just one more question," Zac said. "How do you know all of this is real? How do you know reality works like this? I mean, doesn't this completely fly in the face of science?"

I sighed. "I can't offer you any proof. It's just a hypothesis that seems to work experientially, but I'm not entirely sure why it works like this or how it works from a scientific perspective. I'm still trying to figure that part out. But I do know mainstream science's materialistic, mechanistic model of reality is completely and utterly wrong."

"Yeah, but why should I believe it's true if science can't confirm it?" Zac asked. "You know me — I'm a very rational man-"

"And I'm a very rational woman," I laughed. "You can believe whatever you want, Zac. I don't care. You're a grown man. It's your life. I just want you to have anything and everything you desire, and in my experience, this is the best way of going about it. Worst case scenario, you go to all the effort of saving yourself and making yourself into the best person you can be, and no wife shows up. If you're doing it right, you'll be so in love with your own life that you won't even notice the lack of a partner. So, in the end, does it really matter if the game works like this? Either way, you end up a winner. Rumi sums it up nicely..."

The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.

I turned to Zac. "And he's right, you know. It's all inside of you. Everything you want, you already have." I stood up, took one last look at the sun descending behind the mountains in the distance, and started walking across the abandoned rooftop with Zac following behind me.