Okay, I thought. So, what's next? God knows every possible configuration of the universe, and he knows the final destination. His algorithm is designed to minimize mutual surprise, thereby giving every observer a physical experience of their own consciousness. Yet every observer is evolving towards self-realization over time. Therefore, who the observer was in the past, and the experiences they manifested in their past, were created by their future self.
As I played this idea out in my mind, its implications began to dawn on me. Like in our game of chess, an observer's consciousness could change over time. I might start the game of chess intending to lose and then flip my intention after capturing God's Queen. Similarly, in life, I might start the game with low self-worth and a belief that I'm not good enough. I'd then manifest everything I needed to experience myself as not good enough — including an epic failure that plunged me to a rock bottom in my life. Like capturing God's Queen, this experience may act as a catalyst for change, prompting me to finally raise my self-worth and self-belief. This evolution in my consciousness would then be reflected in my outer reality. Everything from my past would've fed into that new experience somehow — like connecting the dots looking backward.
The retrocausal loops were still fucking with my mind, though — my future self was creating my past self, and my past self was creating my future self. The only reason I thought I wasn't good enough was because of events that played out in my past. But the only reason those events played out in my past was because they sat on the most parsimonious route to my future self. God always knew I'd change my mind. Once I did, it was like everything I'd gone through was exactly what I needed to go through to bring about my new, improved reality.
So, where does that leave free will? I wondered. If I examined the map of all configurations of the universe and assumed that God was unfolding the most parsimonious route through the information in a way that minimized long-term mutual surprise, then I had to accept there was only one possible timeline that could unfold from my current perspective. Like in my chess game, if God were both my opponent and myself, He would know with 100 percent certainty which moves every observer would make in response to His moves. In other words, if I exist, right here, right now, then I must be on the most parsimonious route to my future self. My future self would've created my past self.
But who is my future self? I wondered. Doesn't my present self decide that? What if I book a ticket right now to an island in the Caribbean and become a surf instructor for the rest of my life? I could do that. I could make that choice. But then, God would have known I'd make that choice. In fact, he would've planted the idea in my mind. That choice in the future would have retrocausally created my past, which led me here to the point where I'd make that choice.
Jesus! This was a mindfuck. Even thinking 'this is a mindfuck’ was an event unfolding in the explicate order, which meant the only reason I was having that thought was because it sat on the most parsimonious route to my future self.
I ran my fingers through my hair as I tried to come to terms with it all.
So, do I have free will? I wondered again.
I guess I do, I concluded. Right now, I could choose to do nothing for the rest of my life. If I did make that choice, then God would've known I’d make that choice, and everything in my past would've led me to that future mediocre version of myself that I chose using my free will.
Alternatively, I could choose to become anyone I want to be right now. Anyone at all. I could decide who I am and live as that person. If I did make that choice, then God would've known I’d make that choice. Therefore, my past would've manifested in such a way that it served and created that future version of myself.
So right now, no matter what I chose, everything I’d gone through would've been exactly what I needed to go through to become whoever I choose to be. From my limited individual perspective, I could choose whatever I want, and that choice would simultaneously create the past and the future. All of my power lay in the present moment, like a pivot point propelling me onto different timelines.
I recalled another passage from Conversations With God.
Your world would not be in its present condition were you to have simply listened to your experience. The result of your not listening to your experience is that you keep re-living it, over and over again. For My purpose will not be thwarted, nor My will be ignored. You will get the message. Sooner or later. I will not force you to, however. I will never coerce you. For I have given you a free will — the power to do as you choose — and I will never take that away from you, ever.
And so I will continue sending you the same messages over and over again, throughout the millennia and to whatever corner of the universe you occupy. Endlessly will I send you My messages, until you have received them and held them close, calling them your own.
My messages will come in a hundred forms, at a thousand moments, across a million years. You cannot miss them if you truly listen. You cannot ignore them once truly heard. Thus will our communication begin in earnest. For in the past you have only talked to Me, praying to Me, interceding with Me, beseeching Me. Yet now can I talk back to you, even as I am doing here.
How can I know this communication is from God? How do I know this is not my own imagination?
What would be the difference? Do you not see that I could just as easily work through your imagination as anything else? I will bring you the exact right thoughts, words or feelings, at any given moment, suited precisely to the purpose at hand, using one device, or several. [...]
Listen to your feelings. Listen to your Highest Thoughts. Listen to your experience. Whenever any one of these differ from what you’ve been told by your teachers, or read in your books, forget the words. Words are the least reliable purveyor of Truth. [...]
There is so much I want to say to You, so much I want to ask. I don’t know where to begin. For instance, why is it that You do not reveal Yourself? If there really is a God, and You are It, why do You not reveal Yourself in a way we can all understand?
I have done so, over and over. I am doing so again right now.
No. I mean by a method of revelation that is incontrovertible; that cannot be denied.
Such as?
Such as appearing right now before my eyes.
I am doing so right now.
Where?
Everywhere you look.
Neale Donald Walsch
I stared out the office window at the explicate order surrounding me. All the information entering my senses was a beautiful dance between God’s consciousness and my own. From the beginning of time, he’d arranged information into an emergent language, and was manifesting symbols to communicate with my consciousness — like making moves on a chessboard that I responded to.
